Saturday Morning Rituals

February 4th, 2012 by eljuski

Saturday mornings are strange.  I wake up way too early out of habit, and, realizing it’s a weekend, and that my head is effectively throbbing from the inside out, I try to squeeze in a few extra hours of sleep.  I make it twenty minutes.  Normally, this wake up procedure would involve nagging the person sleeping next to me to wake up and get some IHOP, it would be totally awesome don’t you think?, but the last few weekends being officially single have left me to wake up alone in my bed burrowed under a pile of blankets, books, and laundry.  The sun bleeds through on my bedroom of quiet, ex-college-boy desperation through the blanket I’ve pinned up as my curtain.  My head throbs from the unnecessary extra shots my friend Emily bought, and I resolve myself to Plan B: get Dunkin Donuts.

Now, even this process normally involves harassing someone to wake up, my friend Andy, but today he’s pulled a nasty trick and has gone into work, so I make the journey alone.  We usually meet up halfway down the block, and mumble and stagger our way to Dunkin Donuts, trying to piece together as best as we can where the night ended up taking a strange turn.  Like when a pair of special ed teachers and their gay republican friend took me to their apartment to drink wine and talk about grading papers.  Or when the hipster spouting absolute nonsense handed me his half-drank beer and asked my roommate if he was ready to go home with him.  Or that time I wound up at a gay bar and didn’t know it (these three stories aren’t necessarily unrelated).

My solo walk to Dunkin Donuts gives cinematic melodrama to my flirting lull in the past few weeks, the world of 20-something women keenly aware I was on the losing end of my last fling.  Well, it’s either that, or, several unnecessary shots later, the best I can muster is a straight faced “you’re, uh, you’re pretty, pretty lady”.  Emily guides me along the way: “You know, telling them you’re shitfaced doesn’t usually work.”  I burp and nod.  “I don’t think I work properly anymore,” I confess, and Emily agrees.  Even one of the better conversations ended with the girl’s friend taking down my number.  I say, “Yeah, but you’re sure you don’t want it to?”  And she shrugs.  “Nah, we’re good.”

Maybe I’m just in a bout of bad luck or funky karma, I think, as the Dunkin Donuts is strangely crowded.  In front of me is a Middle-Eastern boy and his dad.  Their order takes forever because neither the dad, boy or lady working the register speak even remotely the same language.  My order of hash browns takes 20 minutes, and I try to recall whether I kicked any dogs in the past month.

By the time the hashbrowns are digested, though, the hangover is nearly gone, and walking home I marvel at how warm this February day is.  I think, maybe I’ll go for a run.  Or cook that stupid recipe I’ve been putting aside for so long.  And I really need to finish that book I’ve been reading.  And then go back out and finally break this karmic streak.

And maybe, just maybe, put up a real curtain and sleep in on a Sunday, for once.  A boy can dream, right?

Potential Sequel Ideas

February 1st, 2012 by eljuski

The internet has come alive these past few days as the news of a run of prequel Watchmen comics spreads like viral poison gas, and I wish people could really smell that metaphor instead of simply read it, because the scent so much more clearly describes both the potent stench of excavating old, complete works of art, as well as the dank caverns that many ‘netizens lurk while parsing out morsels of information.  The prequel is set to go, and is about as inevitable as pretty much all sequels are.

That said, I found myself finally put up against a wall, as not only all original ideas were taken, but now piggy-backing cash-ins of original ideas were being drained from the universal conscious as well.  So, diligent as I am, I began jotting notes for Hollywood.  If there is going to be a deluge of half-assed cash-ins, I swear to God I won’t be the only chump sitting there not getting paid to write something that makes Gen-X DnD nerds suffer.

THE CATCHER IN THE RYE 2

When last we checked in with Holden Caufield, he was a petulant teen in need of some help.  The sequel takes place twenty years after the events of Rye and his subsequent mental breakdown; Holden now works as a disgruntled High school English teacher in New York City.  Mr. Caufield, as he is now known, attempts to live a normal life, but is still troubled by the death of his brother, as well as the fact that his younger sister is now a fucking prostitute.  His school is in shambles, and Holden feels like he is holding the reigns of a failing enterprise in a failing society, the old man desperately trying to scrub the graffiti from the halls.  His breaking point occurs when Phoebe comes knocking at his apartment door, beaten to a pulp and left for dead.  When Holden finds out one of his seniors perpetrated the crime, the final straw breaks.  Holden heads out into the night with his trusty hat and a baseball bat to become a new kind of saving grace.  By day, he continues to teach, but by night, he is catching the children in the rye by beating the shit out of those very same students with a baseball bat.

THE HELP 2

I don’t really have too much here yet, but essentially, it would play out like a mix of The Blindside and Barbershop.

 

THE SUN ALSO SETS AFTER IT ALSO RISES

Cashing in on the zeitgeist and recent success of The Hangover films, The Sun Also Sets After It Also Rises takes place merely days after the end of the novel, with Jake Barnes waking up in a strange hotel room in a remote village of Estonia.  He only has a handful of clues of what happened during this latest bender, each of them more ominous than the last: a bloody knife, a broken mirror with the words “Nighttime” scrawled in blood, and a tear-stained letter from Brett saying that she has been abducted by a man known as The Czar, who, it turns out, was the scoundrel that left Jake with his nut-busting war wound.  Barnes immediately goes on the chase for Brett, meeting new friends and running into old pals, particularly an enthralling bull-fighting scene with Romero, in a thrilling effort to remember his past while trying to reclaim his future.

SHAWSHANK 2 PRISON 2 FURIOUS

Living the dream life in Mexico, Andy and Red are visited by a mysterious man who turns out to work for the government.  The suit comes to the ex-cons in dire need of their assistance.  He wants them to return to Shawshank Prison and help a prisoner, Albert Sushenko, escape.  At first Andy and Red are hesitant, but the suit has incriminating evidence about them, so they grudgingly accept.  What happens next is a mad-cap, visceral film as both men are tossed back in the clink and forced to relive their worst nightmares, as several new terrors, in the penal system.  As they work towards their goal, they find out several mind-bending truths about Sushenko, Shawshank, and the government, with multiple plot-twists and turns that eventually make the boys wonder, is rescuing Sushenko worth it?  And can anyone truly leave Shawshank forever?  Or, atleast, twice?

Lost DVDs

January 28th, 2012 by eljuski

I’ve always been obsessed with cataloguing.  There’s a simple, effective control of the universe when you place your libraries in a choke-hold, reserving sole judgment for the aesthetics and distribution of your, uh, stuff.  You know, books and Pokémon cards and all that.  For the most part I’ve held on to my ancient, unspoken rules of organizing: books are still catalogued by how much they resemble a Vonnegut book, then by books by authors I like, then Civil War books, then whatever looks nice together on the same shelf.  And then comic books and hard-covers.

I have, however, given up on trying to organize my DVDs—for the most part—although they, too, have their own rank and pedigree whose basic guidelines must be met or else my grandma gets a tumor, or something (I can’t fully explain how the universe works).

Recently I decided to come back to my DVD collection and give it a once-over: a media spring-cleaning, if you will, and going through my collection I was short of horrified to see the neglect I had managed to give my collection.  Partly I blame myself, and obviously Netflix, for making me so unaware of the sad state of my DVD collection, but mostly I blame six years of college and a move across the country which has all but scattered my DVDs into the wind.

Part of being That Guy That Forces People to Watch Stuff is that, inevitably, those people will want to watch stuff, and, inevitably, they’ll want to borrow things, which is how my Venture Bros. Season 1 DVD wound up cracked in two and tucked away in one friend’s freezer, or how my entire Freaks and Geeks series is jammed in between a few mix-cd’s in another friend’s car.  My imagination runs wild when my mind turns to News Radio Season 4, last whereabouts unknown.  And then there’s the first two discs of the series Undeclared, left in the clutches of a woman who will not give me my shit back.  It’s only in my distraught life where late night drunk texts are pleas for clemency, but rather a Buddhist chant of “DVDs! DVDs! DVDs!”

I wonder if there’s an institution for middle class white people with borderline OCD, like Alcoholics Anonymous except you stand up and say, “My name is Steve and I hate it when people dog-ear my book pages.”  It would be a slight weekly comfort, and I could come home afterwards and look at my DVDs, breath deep, and say, “If you love a movie set it free; if it loves you it will return.  Or just buy another copy from Best Buy.”  But, much like girlfriends of Christmas Past, I will always continue to wonder if someday someone will find my copy of Star Wars hidden between the cushions of a rutty couch.

Four Stories About Thanksgiving

November 24th, 2011 by eljuski

This week is usually a black hole of sentimental gratitude; in the hopes of adding to said black hole, but perhaps by not making it over-saccharine with the normal thankful tripe abound, is a series of short vignettes that should all amount to I’M GRATEFUL FOR THIS SHIT, even if it strives to not say it point-blank:

1.  Waiting to take my sister and niece to the airport, I’m lounging back, looking at stuff on the internet from my phone.  My niece is digging the knots out of her hair, and complaining in that whiny, way that preteens do, the drunken, baby-like crawl of annoying grievances that will eventually molt into pure hormonal teenage bawling and flimflamming.  I try and get her to stop complaining by talking about books, which, for some reason, she hasn’t figured out are totally gay yet, and I mention that Hugo, the new Scorcese pic, is totally an adaptation of The Invention of Hugo Cabret, the sort of book I can’t wait to stuff down her brain-hole (as an uncle, that’s my job–forcing her into servitude of the books and movies and bands that I love).  She’s actually interested, and in a fit of teaching passion (read: annoying uncle-teach-you-tism), I go into a rambling conversation about George Meilies, who is a centerpiece of both the book and film (and the subject of a handful of ACT reading section passages).  Meilies is, of course, duh, no doubt, the director behind A Trip to the Moon, a great little slice of silent-film-era, a gorgeous-for-its-time, stylistic ten minute film whose novelty is probably most remembered for the Smashing Pumpkins’ music video for “Tonight, Tonight”.  A few flicks of the fingers on my phone and I pull up the original video, and for a few moments, we’re both actively engaged, if at least, not actively bored with life, at some pretty wild shit that’s now more than 100 years old.  It’d be interesting to drag George from the grave to take witness of his own magician skills not on a pocket-sized silver screen late-night-chinese-food-ordering-machine.

2.  The kids at school tune me out.  Actually, tuning me out would imply they’ve ever tuned in.  But here we are, eating a potluck Thanksgiving lunch, and I tell them, like I tell them tons of times, “There’s a great Vonnegut quote that he attributed to his uncle, about saying how when there’s something nice, you just have to say, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is’.”  And they don’t care, but they don’t actively deny it either, and the room is kind of quiet but for the headphones blaring hiphop and the eager lip-smacking and the food digesting.

3.  The little heater that my landlord bought for my room really works, man.  It’s a squat little thing, kind of noisy, but that’s all right, as it’s just rumbly enough to cradle me to sleep at night.  The first week at the new apartment was damn cold–the room juts out of the rest of the house, so when you put your bare hand on one of the walls, you can feel the future shivers coming through.  But a few blankets later–the fuzzy kind, accept no substitute–and with my new little friend to cohabit the space with me, my new room is starting to look less like a place where I’m dumping my shit for the next couple of months, and really looking like a home.  The giant Batman and James Bond posters don’t hurt, either, and definitely give my corner of the world the necessary amount of style needed so that I don’t explode from pop-culture blue balls.

4. Around this time last year I was on a train, desperate for the lingering last hours of the ride to end, cramped up in the wrong sorts of places but still largely complacent with my brother, who had gone on this strange rails adventure with me out to D.C.  We were making our last leg down the Allegheny’s, and there were patches of snow everywhere as the train chugged along ancient mountain paths.  The whole thing was picaresque: as we pushed past Harper’s Ferry there was, no fucking joke, an eagle that had lighted down by the river, flashing it’s majesty as a pervert would flash his junk right before our very eyes.  There was a lot of bonding going on, over beer and over-priced chips and soggy frozen pizzas, and I was stuck in a rut between a girl I had loved once before, but had lost, and a girl I was in love with then, but felt I was about to lose, not because of her, necessarily, but because of myself, because that train ride out to the nation’s capitol not only shook my sense of wanderlust, but also because it took me away from myself at a time when I was at an important crossroad in my life, and my six years of college and my six plus years of arrested development were coming to a belated end.  If I remember correctly, when we finally rolled into Union Station, it was cloudy, and cool, but otherwise pleasant; the dinner at my sister’s I thought would be awkward, but was satisfying (and filling!), and I even got to get my drink on quite nicely.  My brother had his chance to play pool with his dad, which, in my too-drunk ways, was all too bittersweet, and I swilled my beer and thought about my own negligent father, wherever the hell he was–is–and felt awful for not playing pool up to my brother’s dad’s expectations (which were none, and yet, the guilt was still seething).  All the while I clung on the arm of a close friend, a gal pal from back home, and through that whole drunken mess I saw potential not only in her pretty little eyes but in a whole new city and a whole new purpose and a whole new self.  The hangover was something tragic, and the train ride home another loping seventeen-hour mess, but in all that travelling I knew I had made a decision for a question I wasn’t really even sure I wanted to ask yet.  And even then, I toyed with the idea for months, and almost didn’t make it, when it came time to jump.  But I packed up my car and left my family and came out here, to be a teacher, and to be a brother and to be an uncle and to be something more than I was before, even though I had no idea what that might be, or for how long.  So I burned some bridges and broke some hearts and gave away some books and made my mommy cry.

And now here I am.

The Witch’s Ring

November 24th, 2011 by eljuski

For Basel…and Elyte, who bet that I couldn’t write a happy ending.

Listen.

Once upon a time there was a boy was playing in a park when he saw something shiny half-buried between the roots of an old, gnarled tree.  It was dazzling and held his gaze as beautiful things often do to boys; he tried to pick it up, but it was stuck firmly in the ground.  He almost turned away, but he couldn’t tear himself from the shiny thing, and so he began digging it out with his fingers, and soon held in his hands a gold ring, cool to the touch and brilliant to the eye.  The boy sat there in awe, slowly picking away the last strands of dirt..  He knew he now owned something special, and he put it in his breast pocket, and ran home, without even telling his friends where he had gone.

The ring was very special to the boy, as it was a very special ring, and that is what the ring wanted—for the ring was a dead witches’ ring, who was buried under that tree seven centuries ago, and her dying wish, as is the dying wish of any witch, was to leave misery to the world.  So she cursed the ring; it would cause suffering to any who would dare touch it, and eventually, tear apart their soul.

Running home, the boy felt the ring grow colder in his pocket as it itched to touch human skin.  It began to rattle around, chomping at the boy’s clothes until the boy finally stopped running and stood there, feeling the ring grumble.  He timidly reached into his pocket and plucked it up, and when his little fingers touched it, he could feel the icy burn of the witch’s curse, and the pain spoke to him in the dry, hacking laughter of buried bones.  The boy grew scared, but did not let go of the ring; he held it in his palm and ran the rest of the way home, bracing the cold, feeling the pain slowly creep up his palm, to his wrist, to his elbow, hearing that laughter grow stronger and resonant, as if the witch was inside of him, cackling in his skull, the noise terrible and tinny, as if his body was the hollow inside of an aluminum can.  But the boy, though scared, couldn’t let go, and he held onto the ring tightly until when he finally ran into his room and forced his hand to release it.  Tears streamed down his face, and he was breathing in heavy gasps, as he felt the terrible noise slowly subside, and he felt the pain slide away, and he blinked and wiped the dripping sweat from his nose and chin.  The ring, when he dropped it, clanked on his desk table, rolled about, and fell through the vent.

The boy was relieved.  He spent the rest of the day in the dark of his room, quiet, holding his arm, his stomach upturned, and his parents worried about him, though they did not believe him—what parents would?  This is why I’m telling my story to you, and not them.

The cursed ring was not satisfied being lost again, and it screamed to all those that could hear it, the rats and the dust bunnies and the old photo albums full of long-dead aunts and uncles, and it struggled through the vents and cracks of the house looking to reunite with its prey.  The ring had tasted the boy’s flesh, and felt the delicious heat of the boy’s finger, and it would not be sated until it consumed the boy’s soul.  But magical things, even the rings of witches, are smarter than any of us, and could reach far into the future, and feel around, and poke their noses in it, so the ring knew it would be some time before it saw the boy again, but it definitely would, and when it did, then it would be the right time.  But the ring was impatient, as curses tend to be, and so it huffed and billowed as it waited to return to its meal.

And so years passed, and the boy grew older, first a rebellious teen, then a young man off to college, and of course he forgot the ring, even though he could hear its voice in the creaking and rattling of what all adults assume is just “the house being old”.

When the boy was old enough to move out on his own, diploma in hand, his parents decided it was time to sell the house, to open a new chapter of their lives somewhere smaller—maybe Bailey, Colorado, the father said, or maybe Bethany Beach, Delaware, chimed in the mother (they finally decided on somewhere in Nebraska, though I have no idea why).  The boy and his parents began combing through the house, to pack and sell things, to tie up the loose ends, and it was then, and only then, that the ring was finally seen again, found amongst a box of the boy’s childhood things—stuffed animals and action figures and old report cards—and as the boy fingered through his old memories, he grazed his hand against the ring, and felt its icy cold surface.  The ring rejoiced, finally returned to the boy.  The boy picked it up, and held it in his hands, and smiled—he remembered being afraid of the thing that day, thinking of the frost that curled up his arm, but now that he was a man, and not just a little boy, he laughed at his innocent fears, and the now pleasant memory; the ring tried to whisper to the boy, but now that he was a man, and not just a little boy, and closed his eyes to all things magical, it could not speak to him—it could not destroy him so easily as years ago, when he was doe-eyed and believed in things such as magic and curses.

But the ring was not beaten, and all the more resolute, for the ring knew the one thing we always seem to forget, and through this ancient magic we all take for granted, it would rip and tear and swallow the boy’s soul whole.

I’m speaking, of course, of love.

It was only a matter of time, for no matter what boys say when their hearts are first broken, hearts heal and boys will always forget their childhood promises; like stubborn waves, they will smash again and again against the rocky shores of love, fools as children and fools as men.  The ring laughed and laughed as it sat in a small box at the bottom of the man’s sock drawer, biding its time.

Of course, the man fell in love (and believe me, one day you will too), and when the time came, he dug through his sock drawer for that little box, and held it close to his heart, so close the ring could hear its fevered beating, could hear the man’s soul rattling against the prison of its ribcage.  And when the man bent on knee and gave the girl the ring, the ring screamed with all its rage and glory, and the leaves above them shook, and the ground seemed to shiver.  Now, now was the time, it seemed to scream, two souls instead of one!

The ring began to work immediately, feeding on the insecurities of the engaged couple, making them bitter and resentful and afraid of one another, making them yell so loud they spit from their mouths and making them destroy plates and records and vacations.  As long as the couple didn’t hold hands, tightly, and feel the magic of love, the ring would be their master.  If it could keep them separated, it could devour them whole, and it almost did.  The boy went to a therapist for help; the woman to a priest.  Each gave them advice, but neither doctor nor priest believed in the power of the curses of the rings of witches, and never even thought to tell them of its cruel power, and so they left all the more confused and dissatisfied.

The ring would win, it seemed, and it would swallow them whole.  The woman walked around her apartment, staring at the gold thing, which once had all the promises of a beautiful life, but now left her sick and twisted, and as the ring was nearly finished with her, and it whispered, yes, send me back, send me back to that wretch, and she considered it; she slumped over her couch and she sobbed, and she sat there for a weekend and listened to all of her old albums—songs that seemed so happy once before, but now seeped of their life and now wallowing in misery.

The man slowly walked over to his fiancé’s apartment, quietly muttering the words of the breakup in his head.  He had lost all of his happiness in his pursuit of this marriage, and now he wanted to end it, to perhaps reclaim something of his life.  He felt bitter and alone, as if his soul had been ripped out from within him, he told his mother through gulps of air.  He went over the tragically poetic words he was going to say to his fiancé one last time in his head, and then he knocked on the door.

She slowly opened it, and stared at him through red, puffy eyes.

He walked inside, and they both sat down on the couch, and because they had seen it so many times on television shows and movies, they moved to touch palms, and to hold hands, and to look into each other’s eyes and say “it’s over.”  The ring giggled with glee, and the lights in the house flickered on and off, but then the ring stopped laughing, as it began to realize—the man and the woman were staring into each other’s eyes, and holding hands, but they were not crying, simply staring, and—could it be?!  The ring swore loudly, as an ambulance roared by outside the window.  The man and the woman had gone without touching each other for so long, and looking at each other so long, they had forgot what they had loved in each other in the first place.  But here they were, completely broken, and alone, and on the brink of self-destruction, and in their vulnerability all they had left were their bodies and their souls, which they had not given to the ring—which the ring only now realized—but had given their souls to each other.  And because they no longer owned their own soul, of course, if they didn’t hold hands and look into each other’s eyes, of course they would lose themselves and become bitter and angry.  They no longer owned themselves, but had offered it to another, and willingly—a power much stronger than leeching it from pain and agony, a power much stronger than a curse muttered from the dying breath of a witch.

Realizing its mistake, the ring shuddered and screamed and banged against their hands, but the young couple did not care.  The ring, which had become such a symbol of imprisonment, was drained of its power, removed of the witch’s curse, and returned to a symbol of unity.  The young couple resolved that their passion for each other would not suffice, but it would take commitment, and true love, to combine their souls and be truly happy once again.

And so, the boy married, and by his wedding day the curse of the witch was broken, and the engagement ring was simply just a ring…though it is important to remember that there truly are magical forces at work in this world, many good but many evil, and they come in things like rings and old photographs and baby teeth and songs that remind you of that girl that got away, but there is one magic mightier than each of those, and if you believe in it strongly enough, it can conquer all.

Flow Chartin

November 20th, 2011 by eljuski

Blog: Ten Years Later

September 11th, 2011 by eljuski

Warning: I’m actually kind of straight faced and serious here, viewer discretion advised.

The bells from the National Cathedral just chimed right now, ten years to an incredible moment that sobered up this country–and the world–to a new era where the destructive forces of villainy were not in the hands of cartoonish supervillains vanquished by John McClane, but by very real, and very malicious zealots who sated their bloodlust on the innocent lives of thousands of Americans who gave their lives to an instant of history, one in which all of us can never forget, though we’ve all become jaded and cynical since.  9/11 has joined the scores of American cliches, along with “freedom fries”, “ter’rist” Dubya and his reading of “My Pet Goat”, and knock knock jokes that end in “I thought you said you’d ‘Never Forget’!?”.  It’s truly a statement towards American sentiment, good or bad, that we are able to march past our miseries, and only wallow in them when there is time or when it is commercially viable.  For instance, I remember saying, only a few days after the tragedy, that in five years they would start churning out 9/11 movies.  I definitely called it: World Trade Center (2006), Flight 93 (2006), and I’m sure scores more either more exploitative than the former, or artful as the latter.  I also remember being very upset in the realization that I would never see the Simpsons episode “The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson” in syndication ever again.

The terrorists new something specific about Americans: we are a consumer society, a culture bred on glutting ourselves on, well, culture, both high and low, good and bad, but constantly in bed with media–plugged into our ears, in our phones, our instant-streaming movies, America hasn’t been offline since, well, maybe 9/11, but even that is a lie as we all know how the news story unfolded: right in front of our eyes.

This constant access to media both draws us nearer and further from the events a decade past in September, when a regular business day turned into the dark turning point for a new generation of Americans–many of whom have never seen the United States of America as a peaceful nation.  The ghosts of enemies of action movies past haunt us now in much darker, grittier depictions of terrorists and cultural revolutionaries who hope to turn their dreams into our nightmares, and to this new generation of Americans, the Cobra Commanders and Statham-movie-baddies have melded into the consciousness of the very real villains, particularly the figure head Osama bin Laden finally removed from power this spring.  As consumers, we have constantly used our fears, apprehensions and conflicts in the mirror of our media, from full-day news reflections to comic book super-villains to musicians, who poke around in our psyches and set it to lyric and song.  In this sense the terrorists could never win–we will always have something to say and broadcast, down to the very last American.

Ten years later, what should we be saying?  Should we continue to dress up our silver screen enemies as Taliban, and dress ourselves up as the Twin Towers on Halloween?  Should we only reserve ourselves to quiet reflection on anniversaries, when there is nothing else on TV?  The answer probably doesn’t lie in either extreme of complete callousness nor in somber proselytizing (trust me, I’m fully aware of the hypocrisy and irony of what I’m doing here, but give it a moment), but much like anything else, we should be making a conscious decision to analyze and work this out.  Like anything else that we consume, and any culture that we take in passively as part of Being an American, we need to draw from the pools of thoughtful consideration we make during momentous occasions such as a ten year mark, and process them into our every day lives.  We have lived in a post 9/11 America for a decade now, and we’ve grown comfortable in that world, for all it’s good and bad (I’d venture to say mostly bad, but, another story for another time).  Today is important as a measuring stick of who we were, and who we’ve become–but let’s not get amnesia when our alarms to wake up for work start tomorrow.  Ten years ago thousands of people didn’t know they were unwillingly entering themselves into a wrinkle of history.  We have their stories written down now, but unless we don’t actively consider them, and consider ourselves in that light, and the light of the television screens mirroring those people and the transformed American identity, we really haven’t learned much.  And that, ideologically, would be the greatest tragedy of them all, to have the martyred souls of innocent American lives drive us to insecurity, insincerity, and a dumb, damning passiveness to what 9/11 meant to Americans, and what it means to be an American, period.